Disciplined!
O.K. it doesn't have anything to do with diet but I got a much deserved discipline yesterday. I went to the library on Tuesday thinking that everything was just fine and dandy. When I got back my husband told me to send our son out for a walk. I knew something was up because he seldom disciplines me during the day but I could tell from the way he was acting that he was going to do just that. What did I do? I asked--incredulous that I had managed to mess up that bad while in the library. Come to find out, I had left the burner on the stove and burnt a pan black before my husband noticed it. I could have started a fire! I still can't believe I was that absent minded. The only excuse I can muster is that I was hurrying to make the library before it closed. I couldn't argue that this was exactly the kind of thing a discipline was designed to manage. I was taken into the bedroom and told to lean over the foot of the bed with my knees on the bed-- after I had my jeans taken from me, of course.. I don't know if you've ever tried to do that but for me I have to spread my legs which is the last thing I want to do before getting disciplined.
I'm not kidding, I felt my stomach drop when I saw my husband bring out a heavy belt. It is one of those old ones that came with a silver buckle and had a name stamped on it. He doesn't wear it much anymore because it is to heavy for style today. I only got seven, which I have to admit I thought was lenient although I was howling the whole time. I don't get a discipline often and it is amazing how quickly I forget how much it hurts--just a blinding pain. You would think this is the end of the story wouldn't you? Well, you're wrong, when I mess up, I make sure I do it right.
on Wednesday I went to clean my in-laws house. I do this every week and cook dinner for them. I cleaned up the dishes and DH and I went home. So, yesterday I get a phone call. When I was cleaning up the stove I accidentally pushed a knob and turned the burner on a little bit. My father in law smelled gas and turned it off. He thought he should call and let me know. Of course, DH came by just in time to hear the conversation. I admit, I thought about just not telling him but he had heard enough to know something was up. If I didn't tell, he would find out and it would be a whole lot worse.
I was informed that since the last "wake up call" hadn't worked I would be getting a much harder discipline this time. Repeat the whole procedure just this time I wound up with more like fifteen instead of seven. My backside is so sore I can hardly sit down. Imagine how relieved I was that the scale was nice to me this morning. I don't exactly know if DH would have given me another dose but I'm glad I didn't have to find out. One thing I can say for sure, I will be very careful with the gas on the stove from now on.
**********It has been a while since I wrote this and I can't believe the comments I have received. I have deleted those I think were simply inappropriate. I would like to make a couple comments though. First, my two children have no idea that I am disciplined and both are happy in every way. Second a few people have said Jesus would never discipline anyone. Remember the money changers in the temple? Third to those who say I like it. I don't when I am getting it but I like the way it makes me feel in general. I also get lighter "romantic spankings which I do enjoy (hope Leah doesn't mind me saying so :O) and finally to all those who have concerned themselves about my being abused. You just don't know me very well. I am not abused nor capable of being abused. I imagine that if one of you raging feminist find yourself beaten by a man you had better hope Leah or I (or someone of like mind) comes along to beat the stuffing out of him for you. I know I'm capable and from reading I sort of believe Leah is as well. My submission is quite voluntary. I have had a few that said they don't know why women need it. Well I think I could have been single and led my life just fine but in order to be a couple someone has to be in charge and someone has to follow. If you think you have an equal partnership ask yourself how many times has your husband given in to you. If it is 90% than maybe your in charge and he is being abused. For us, the discipline is the sign that DH is in charge not because of defect on my part but because of mutual choice. Now if you just have nothing else to do but rant about this blog please go away. I am tired of deleting your messages.
I'm not kidding, I felt my stomach drop when I saw my husband bring out a heavy belt. It is one of those old ones that came with a silver buckle and had a name stamped on it. He doesn't wear it much anymore because it is to heavy for style today. I only got seven, which I have to admit I thought was lenient although I was howling the whole time. I don't get a discipline often and it is amazing how quickly I forget how much it hurts--just a blinding pain. You would think this is the end of the story wouldn't you? Well, you're wrong, when I mess up, I make sure I do it right.
on Wednesday I went to clean my in-laws house. I do this every week and cook dinner for them. I cleaned up the dishes and DH and I went home. So, yesterday I get a phone call. When I was cleaning up the stove I accidentally pushed a knob and turned the burner on a little bit. My father in law smelled gas and turned it off. He thought he should call and let me know. Of course, DH came by just in time to hear the conversation. I admit, I thought about just not telling him but he had heard enough to know something was up. If I didn't tell, he would find out and it would be a whole lot worse.
I was informed that since the last "wake up call" hadn't worked I would be getting a much harder discipline this time. Repeat the whole procedure just this time I wound up with more like fifteen instead of seven. My backside is so sore I can hardly sit down. Imagine how relieved I was that the scale was nice to me this morning. I don't exactly know if DH would have given me another dose but I'm glad I didn't have to find out. One thing I can say for sure, I will be very careful with the gas on the stove from now on.
**********It has been a while since I wrote this and I can't believe the comments I have received. I have deleted those I think were simply inappropriate. I would like to make a couple comments though. First, my two children have no idea that I am disciplined and both are happy in every way. Second a few people have said Jesus would never discipline anyone. Remember the money changers in the temple? Third to those who say I like it. I don't when I am getting it but I like the way it makes me feel in general. I also get lighter "romantic spankings which I do enjoy (hope Leah doesn't mind me saying so :O) and finally to all those who have concerned themselves about my being abused. You just don't know me very well. I am not abused nor capable of being abused. I imagine that if one of you raging feminist find yourself beaten by a man you had better hope Leah or I (or someone of like mind) comes along to beat the stuffing out of him for you. I know I'm capable and from reading I sort of believe Leah is as well. My submission is quite voluntary. I have had a few that said they don't know why women need it. Well I think I could have been single and led my life just fine but in order to be a couple someone has to be in charge and someone has to follow. If you think you have an equal partnership ask yourself how many times has your husband given in to you. If it is 90% than maybe your in charge and he is being abused. For us, the discipline is the sign that DH is in charge not because of defect on my part but because of mutual choice. Now if you just have nothing else to do but rant about this blog please go away. I am tired of deleting your messages.
Debbie Lee, what happened with both stoves are MISTAKES and everyone makes them, even your DH. We're human. Apologize for them and try not to make the same mistake again. But is discipline really required? Going through life afraid of making even the smallest mistake is no way to live. Living in fear is not living.
Reply to this
There are a couple points I would like to make. First, I am not afraid of my husband one little bit. We are in a voluntary relationship and I know exactly how to get out if I want. I just have no desire to leave. Nor am I one of those BDSM people, I don't enjoy getting disciplined at all. I think those of us in domestic discipline relationships must occasionally defend ourselves that we are not abused. I've been married almost 24 years and my husband has been disciplining me for two years. They are the happiest years of our marriage. During that time my husband has left a bruise on me exactly once and that was the first time he spanked me. He used a paddle on me and although it didn't hurt as much as the belt, it left a mark. He has since learned how to increase the sting without marking me. Sometimes I find myself tender the next day but not bruised--odd huh? I've never thought that the discipline I was getting wasn't deserved or that it was excessive.
Lets look at it this way, what could he have done? First, he could have ignored the situation but remember I WAS LEAVING THE STOVE ON. I COULD HAVE BURNED THE HOUSE DOWN. MY FATHER IN LAW SMOKES. Ignoring the situation is often the worst thing a husband can do. Second he could have sat down and discussed this calmly with me. Does anyone not on t.v. really do this? I'm sure that it wouldn't leave to much of an impression on me. Some people may find this advantageous but not my husband and I. Truth is, I was warned before I got the spanking but you see, I didn't get the message. Third, he could have gotten mad and yelled at me. If he had done that I would have yelled back at him. I submit if he leads but yelling is not leading. We would have simply gotten in an argument that would have involved much more than the stove and we would probably said things to each other that would have hurt much longer than my bottom stayed sore. Fourth, I guess he could have beaten me but he would only do so once because if he did I would leave. The difference between a spanking and a beating is I submit to the spanking, it is only on my backside, it is in private, it does not lasting harm (no black eyes etc..), it is done for a specific reason and it is considered by my DH in advance (it isn't the result of rage). Fifth, he could and did discipline me. I agreed before it happened that it would help me remember the stove. I dreaded the pain but wasn't afraid because I trust my husband not to go to far. Afterward he held me and told me everything is alright. The next day it wasn't mentioned again and I felt close to him. I felt protected.
The second point I would like to make is about him not making mistakes. I don't know how other people approach this but here is the thought process my husband and I went through. We don't have a master and slave relationship. I am not his slave and don't consider myself inferior to him in any way. I have to submit to him because he is my husband. If I didn't marry I wouldn't have had to submit to any man and the Bible says I should be accorded the same consideration as a man. The only man I have to submit to is my husband (the employer may have something to say about this but you know what I mean) He wanted an intelligent wife because who knows, the Lord may call him first and I may finish raising his children. We look at it more like being in the military. If you join the military, you will have a commanding officer. If he or she tells you to do something you had better do it. If you don't, you will find out something about discipline regardless of your marital state. (you won't be spanked but you may wish that is all you had gotten), Your CO may be smarter than you or dumber. He or she may know things you don't or you may know more about the situation at hand than he/she does but it makes no difference. You better salute and do as you are told or you will regret it. You will have to show your CO respect because he/she is your CO and that the end of the discussion. It has worked for the military since the Romans ruled the world. In the same way, I respect my husband because he is my CO, as God appointed him. Sometimes he knows more about something than I do and sometimes he knows less but he remains the CO. Even if he is wrong I owe him respect just for being my husband/CO. I have wondered if I would submit to an unfair discipline. I like to think I would because as my husband/CO he gets to decide when I need discipline not me.It has never happened. I have richly deserved every spanking I have received. Of course, thank God we have an all volunteer military and an all volunteer marriage commitment. If a CO is unfit to lead or mistreats the troops he/she would lose his or her command and if a woman(or man) is mistreated she (or he) should get to safety. Don't worry about me though, no one is taking advantage of me and I'm actually grateful DH took the time to discipline me. Thanks for your concern Debbie
Reply to this
Debbie, what happened with both stoves are MISTAKES and everyone makes them, even your DH. We're human. Apologize for them and try not to make the same mistake again. But is discipline really required? Going through life afraid of making even the smallest mistake is no way to live. Living in fear is not living.
Reply to this
Debbie,
So sorry you had a bad couple of days. I know you'll be more careful with the stove from now on. I almost got into trouble for forgetting to log off the computer for the umpteenth time. It is so easy to get careless, isn't it?
Blessings,
Leah
Reply to this
I understand the need for discipline exactly. As we age and divide caring for our parents with caring for our own home, our attention is stretched to the limit. Yes, it was a mistake, but it is really about FOCUS AND ATTENTION TO DETAIL. Getting discipline helps me focus, so in Debbie's case, the next time I was cleaning, I would double check the stove knobs before leaving the kitchen. How horrible she would have felt if the parents had died from a fire or gas poisoning in their sleep.
This is the type of discipline I usually request after the omission has lead to a problem.
Patience
Reply to this
thank you, you're exactly right
Reply to this
First of all, accidents do happen, and there is no way I would let my husband hit me what so ever. I sent an email with a comment to Leah and she never had the guts to answer me back. So spineless. She knew that I was right about everything and she couldn't even comment me back. I suppose I will get the same treatment from you. Good christians would never treat each other like this. Its not right. Have a little respect for yourself. Its just not right. He should be ashamed of himself for touching you in that manner. He has no respect for you. If he loves you, he would never hurt you in any way, shape,or form.
Reply to this
First of all, I've never met Leah just conversed online but nothing about her has appeared spineless to me. Second I think I have already written a thousand+ words explaining why my husband disciplines so me so I'm not going to do it again. It has helped our marriage. Third, you are free to have a marriage as you and your husband please. If you were not somewhat interested in the idea of domestic discipline you probably wouldn't be reading my blog. Good Christians love each other as they love themselves and show non Christians the love of Christ. We don't condemn each other's faith. The Bible says for wives to submit to their husbands although it doesn't say it has to be in this manner. Therefore I think there is no comdemnation whether ones husband disciplines her or not. I have the ultimate respect for myself--I know that although I am just a broken vessel I have been purchased by the Ultimate Potter and that He will one day make me perfect--absolutely spotlessly perfect. He saw enough value in me to lay down His life. That is the ultimate self respect. I am not my own: I was bought with a price. One question--what would your husband have done if you had left the gas on? If he would have just patted you on the back and said "Oh Sweetness I know accidents happen, so I'll forgive you," than you both must be quite exciting people to be around. What if your husbands house had burned down because of it? Debbie
Reply to this
Hello Cathy,
I don't remember your comment. It is probably one out of many I have chosen not to answer, simply because I do not have the time nor the desire to fool with it. It is quite probable I looked at the first line of your comment and hit the delete button.
I think people like you must be very bored. Since you do not have a life of your own you must go out and attack others' lives to entertain yourself. I feel sorry for you, but not enough to waste my valuable time arguing with you.
Leah
Reply to this
I am so glad you put Cathy in her place. How dare she comment on your lifestyle. I am just learning about CDD and we only had 1 test run but I will tell you it made me listen to my HOH when he was done. I need the structure to be a better person.
Reply to this
I thought of you when I went down to the basement the other day and found that I had left the back door open. The screen was fastened to keep the cat in and the critters out, but it would not keep out a two legged critter! I thought, "Lucky I don't have to worry about being disciplined for it. Better set the reminder on my cell phone so I don't forget tonight." Next morning it was still open! I had forgotten to set the reminder. So maybe I am not so lucky after all.
Reply to this
Cathy,
I think you're just jealous! haha! I sure am! I wish my husband would discipline me!!
Reply to this
Dear Debbie,
I felt I had to comment on your blog post.
I stumbled upon the CDD website while looking for advice on Christian marriage, and the thing I stumbled on appeared to be a SM instruction manual on how to hit your wife designed for the Heads of the Household. I confess I was completely repulsed by it, yet morbidly fascinated.
I hope that you don't mind, I read your blog out of fascination and (I confess) horror. Though I disagree with your position and believe it to be a misinterpretation of the scriptures, my philosophy has always been to "seek first to understand" and then to be understood.
Even the smallest grain of truth, and the "reasoned arguments" that I read on the CDD website seem to be belied by the actual reported experiences. This one being a case in point. Leaving the gas on was an accident. It was not even a case of absent-mindedness. I remember doing something similar myself once.
As far as I am aware, those who accept a "Christian" DD lifestyle work on one specific "fault" or a couple at a time, so the submissive partner is not "overloaded".
What possible "end good" could your "discipline" have? Be "more" careful? Would you advise my husband meet simlar treatment out to me every time I forgot something (I have a neurological condition called dyslexia that causes this, and not even the hardest beating could remove it). Yet even the most nuro-normal and most careful of human beings are subject to accidents.
What you describe here, even when weighed against the "reasoning" of the "pastors" who wrote on CDD site, is inconsistent with the lifestyle you have chosen.
If I may be so bold as to suggest that self-discipline - which is a fruit of the Holy Spirit for ALL Christians, male or female, means not giving free reign to our desires, including our desires to be dominated, or to dominate others.
I hope that you won't be offended by this, and will publish it as a valid viewpoint. While I disagree with you, I do applaud your courage in writing about a very controversial subject, and I hope nothing I have said here has caused you any undue pain or anger.
Very respectfully,
Cara.
Reply to this
Hi Debbie-
Good for you for standing up to the people that said what you and your husband are doing is wrong. I want this in my relationship, but don't want to bring it up, because I know he won't agree...
Reply to this
To both Debbie and Leah, I think you both are so fortunate to be in marriages so safe and secure. I wish that my marriage was a DD relationship. We've been married for 27 years and I am responsible for everything, except the income. Although, I have worked outside the home, as time has allowed. I used to dream of a marriage like yours, now I know what I am really missing. I love my husband dearly, but he doesn't lead. I'm so tired of being the HOH, but if I even tried to turn this around, I think I would have to spank myself! May God nless you both.
Reply to this
I saw all the criticisms of your lifestyle on Salon and well, they just dont get it. There are many of us who wish we had what you had. For me it would be non religious but still leader/follower HOH type of situation. I think it is incredibly rude of people to be so judgemental. Good for you that you found what works for you, I think you are brave.
Reply to this
I have only one question, really. What if your HUSBAND had made a terrible error, done something really foolish and dangerous? Who would hit HIM 15 times with a belt?
The presumption that ANYONE should be subject to this sort of learning is questionable. But, if it works so well, why isn't it reciprocal? Why don't MEN subject themselves to this innovation in preventing preventable errors?
Just asking.
Reply to this
some do. It has been around since the 1920's and is known as the Spenscer spanking plan. Not my cup of tea but to each his own.
Reply to this
I don't think your being very honest with yourself. Your in a BDSM relationship, call it what you will. Not many SM people enjoy the pain, but they aren't about to stop their Dominants from doing it. I think that this sort of voluntary behavior among consenting adults is perfectly fine, no matter how they justify it.
I also agree with Cara. Your husband needs to be careful that he isn't doing horrific psychological harm. It's known to happen with submissives who don't set limits. I am sure there are plenty of 'limits' in the bible that your husband should follow. I am sure he's a great guy since you chose to be with him.
Reply to this
hi, sorry you get some women leaving messages that dont understand or don't care about the DD lifestyle. I operate on the "to each their own" mode. My husband and I have been CDD for about 15 months now. In no way shape or form am I abused, unloved or uncared for, quite the opposite. This is a consensual arrangment. Why some people feel the need to interfere in someone else marriage, a happy marriage at that is really strange thing to do, it begs the question, "what are you doing reading this blog in the first place"? If you are so disgusted and turned off be DD why are you here? I mean really, just leave it alone. No one will go in your house and tell you how to run your marriage so stay out of ours. This is what works for me and my husband and works quite well. Prior to DD we were like roommates, it was quite sad.
I wish you the best of luck,
Take care
L
Reply to this
Debbie,
I just found your blog and had to reply. At least you recognize that you could have burned your house down and blown up your in-laws house and all.
I don't understand the women who think your husband was too hard on you. I think you should have gotten ten times as many spanks! I certainly would have.
My husband would have hand spanked me bare with my legs spread open over his thigh for a warm up then he would have spanked me with a wooden hairbrush or paddle until I was rosy red and sore the next day so it wouldn't happen again.
When the gas was left on in the NEXT day he would have been hand, hairbrush,wooden and rubber paddle on my bottom and thighs that evening with another paddling Thursday morning. I would have been taken to my in-laws on Saturday to apologize and my father-in-law would have bent me over and used the razor strap on my pantie covered bottom. On Sunday I probably would have been paddled before church to remind me thank God that everyone was safe and to pray to always be careful. My husband would never take the chance that I might repeat my actions because he hadn't disciplined me enough and endanger myself and others. I think he would have spanked me before I went to clean there the next to remind me to be careful.
You might want pray about your careless actions and ask your husband to give you the punishment you deserve. Maybe you think you have been punished enough. I don't want to offend you but I think you deserve to be paddled long hard.
About your diet you might want to have your thyroid checked. It should be below 2.0 for you to be able to lose weight without starving and avoid spankings that you don't deserve.
God bless you and your family and may your husband be given the grace to give you the disciple you need to be an even better wife.
Reply to this
Perhaps your serious perhaps your joking but you may be right about everything except no one spanks me except my husband. It is to personal for us. Most people seem to think I got it to hard. Thanks for the opposite view. I think it could have been harder myself but am glad our husbands haven't talked
Reply to this
I don't think your being very honest with yourself. Your in a BDSM relationship, call it what you will. Not many SM people enjoy the pain, but they aren't about to stop their Dominants from doing it. I think that this sort of voluntary behavior among consenting adults is perfectly fine, no matter how they justify it.
In response to the above copied post.... People can be in a Taken in Hand realtionship and NOT in a BDSM relationship, why because WE say so. It is up to each of us to define our relationship. If you have an opinion as to to something else thats fine but no one will define for me what my marriage is and is not. I know exactly what we have and we couldn't be happier. Honest with myself, you bet!
L.
Reply to this
I have been reading some of the commnets and blogs and have thought that people should not condemn anyone for this relationship. Leah and Debbie are in it with men who love and adore them and are trying to be the biblical man, husband, and father. If this isn't what you think is right, fine, but please don't condemn it. I'm not in a CDD realationship, but I don't condemn it.
Reply to this